guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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