Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
