airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
