The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
