I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
