Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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