Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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