honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
