if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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