One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
