Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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