He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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