Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize