I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
