i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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