ugly people sure do ruin things
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pants are for mortals
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
