I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
