I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
