i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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