it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
