I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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