i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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