For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
