I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
