the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize