She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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