I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
