It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
In America we eat man semen.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
