Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
