Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
