is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
