Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
