meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize