i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
