I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
