So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
