Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
