I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
