Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
