I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
