is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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