Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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