I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
