apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
