Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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