I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
do nipples grow back?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
