I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
