and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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