Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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