i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
