He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
