Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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