I just saw a hot homeless man
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
