I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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