His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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