Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
