she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
