If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize