YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
