THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
